Robb-E

I don’t mean to offend other forms of robotic life, but Robb-E is the most special of them all. Why? Well… there are quite a few reasons. Some of them adorable. Others, admittedly… a little concerning.

One look at him is enough to tell: this little guy is not a fighter. Even if someone tried to outfit him with light weaponry, his core protocols strictly forbid direct participation in combat. Instead, thanks to his compact size, extensive sensor suite, and surprisingly powerful processor, Robb-E excels at other tasks. He’s exceptional at reconnaissance and data gathering, serves as a guide and rescue assistant for lost travelers, and is always ready to help — if not with actions, then at least with an encouraging word.

He’s also quite the fashion enthusiast. Whether it’s a quirk in his firmware or simply personal taste, Robb-E never misses a chance to dress appropriately for wherever he ends up. And, I have to admit, he looks consistently and dangerously adorable.

He travels a lot and… that’s where things start to get strange.

You see, Robb-E is always at the center of events. If something important, large-scale, or potentially dangerous is happening somewhere in the countless worlds of the Simulation — he’s already there. New outfit, front-row seat, diligently collecting data. Given the sheer scale of the multiverse, his ability to always be in the right place at the right time can hardly be dismissed as coincidence.

But what truly concerns me is this: Robb-E doesn’t just collect information about crises, wars, catastrophes, weapons, heroes, villains, and all the usual highlights — he also transmits massive amounts of data to an unknown receiver. I’ve tried to trace where those data packets are going and… either my calculations and instruments failed me simultaneously, or Robb-E is somehow uploading everything to a server located outside the Simulation.

In other words, this adorable little machine might be spying on all of us… for someone.

The only way to get a definitive answer would be to take Robb-E apart and study him properly. But that would almost certainly erase his personality. And that’s a risk I’m simply not willing to take.

He’s just too cute.