PGA

Picture this: you wake up in the middle of the night to a strange whisper in an unknown language coming from your closet. Panicking, you rush outside — only to find your neighborhood shrouded in thick fog, and a giant glowing eye staring down from the sky instead of the moon. Then gravity suddenly stops working, and you find yourself slowly drifting above the rooftops, helplessly spinning in midair. Who do you call for help?

The correct answer: no one. Because the PGA is already there. While you’re still trying to process what’s happening, they’re sealing off the perimeter, running a quick anomaly scan, pulling shiny button-covered gadgets from their van, and preparing to extract you from the situation. It’s their job — and their job just keeps getting busier every year.

The PGA (Pixel Gun Anomaly) is an elite organization dedicated to maintaining the stability of the entire Simulation. Whenever something strange, dangerous, or outright impossible happens in the multiverse, the PGA agents are the ones who know what to do. A portal storm? An invasion of meat trees? A plate that spawns infinite donuts? Whatever the anomaly, the PGA will do everything it takes to keep the Simulation from crashing — either by neutralizing the threat or locking it deep inside one of their vaults.

Their jurisdiction? The entire multiverse. Which explains why their agents don’t really get weekends or vacations. On the bright side, they have access to the most advanced tech, the smartest minds, and the finest heroes the Simulation has to offer. Serving the PGA is a great honor — though it comes with a mountain of paperwork and a very real chance of being turned into a toaster.

Personally, I like to think of the PGA as the Simulation’s immune system — its metaphorical antivirus. Their methods may be extreme at times, but thanks to them, the multiverse hasn’t yet collapsed under an endless chain of apocalypses and logical paradoxes. One day, I hope I can thank them in person.

Oh, and one last thing: don’t talk too much about the PGA in public. It’s not just an elite organization — it’s a secret one. They prefer to work quietly. And occasionally wipe the memories of curious bystanders.

P.S.: Strange… I don’t remember writing this. Oh! Message received.